self love (no, not like that, you perv)

i once heard that the key to a happy marriage is not to commit to a person once, but to examine your bond and recommit yourself to it, everyday.  even when it sucks.  even when you want to slap them, you take a deep breath, you assess, you recommit. 

in a way, right now, i'm needing to do this regarding my weight and fitness.  it seems i make great strides and then something throws me off, and i lose my mojo for a week.  feelings of dread commence, i feel hopeless and i cry like a baby, trying to figure out exactly why i feel what i feel.  i want a divorce from my body. 
i'm hard on myself, which comes in handy, but is also a curse.  lately i miss a workout or two and i can feel myself slipping into a tailspin of binging on unhealthy food, couch potatoing, and complaining about it.  or i need to test a recipe for my bakery, and i have to eat some really decadent stuff (tough job, i know).  and i know it's not the end of the world, i might gain a pound or two, but it feels like the end of the world. 

so what to do?  shame cave?
no, rekindle that flame!

after a weekend of being sick and rightfully lazy, i made myself go run today.  i felt great.  once i did that, i stayed OP all day.  i cooked good soul and body sustaining food.  i even remembered to pack myself a post-gym banana.  i drank my water.  and my 'marriage' to myself and my goals was stellar, passionate, and without doubt.

i love myself and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with me.