self love (no, not like that, you perv)

i once heard that the key to a happy marriage is not to commit to a person once, but to examine your bond and recommit yourself to it, everyday.  even when it sucks.  even when you want to slap them, you take a deep breath, you assess, you recommit. 

in a way, right now, i'm needing to do this regarding my weight and fitness.  it seems i make great strides and then something throws me off, and i lose my mojo for a week.  feelings of dread commence, i feel hopeless and i cry like a baby, trying to figure out exactly why i feel what i feel.  i want a divorce from my body. 
i'm hard on myself, which comes in handy, but is also a curse.  lately i miss a workout or two and i can feel myself slipping into a tailspin of binging on unhealthy food, couch potatoing, and complaining about it.  or i need to test a recipe for my bakery, and i have to eat some really decadent stuff (tough job, i know).  and i know it's not the end of the world, i might gain a pound or two, but it feels like the end of the world. 

so what to do?  shame cave?
no, rekindle that flame!

after a weekend of being sick and rightfully lazy, i made myself go run today.  i felt great.  once i did that, i stayed OP all day.  i cooked good soul and body sustaining food.  i even remembered to pack myself a post-gym banana.  i drank my water.  and my 'marriage' to myself and my goals was stellar, passionate, and without doubt.

i love myself and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with me.

'master blaster

i’m doing a challenge at the ywca, which encourages the participants to lose weight/gain muscle through food tracking and 1-2 hrs of activity/day.  i’m participating and it’s going well so far.  the only problem?  i needed to find a way to extend my workouts by half and hour to meet my daily quota.  as usual, i decided to challenge myself by taking something new on-THE STAIRMASTER.
seriously F*** a stairmaster.  ok, not really. but the stairmaster is hard.  treadmill, no problem. eliiptical, no problem.  but i get winded and soaked in sweat after 5 min. on the stair machine.  so i’m taking it on, and I WILL WIN!
yesterday i went on at a low level (slow) and did 15 minutes.  i was really proud of myself, especially after i figured out that my entire 90 min. workout burned 700+ calories.
heck yeah!  take that, stairs!

deep thoughts

(imagine Jack Handy reading this):

since i started my path down the weight loss rabbit hole, i’ve noticed that packaged foods (cereals, bread, pasta) last way longer in my house, as i only eat the recommended serving sizes, and produce flies out of here like nobody’s business.
um, cool!  although i wish it wasn’t -5 deg. here, i’d like to be able to grow some of these pricey veggies at home...C'mon spring!

Protein powder

After doing a lot of taste tests, and using up the ones i especially didn’t care for, I have settled on Tera’s Whey for my protein powder needs.  I drink it for breakfast some days or after hard workouts.  This one mixes fast with little agitation, and the flavor is really good, not chalky or medicinal at all.  I like that it’s made from cow, goat, and sheep’s milk whey, which makes it digest well.  It’s gluten free, and sweetened with stevia.  Also, it weighs in at 3P+ mixed with water.
I got mine at the local food co-op, but you can get it online at http://www.luckyvitamin.com/, and the price is a little better there.  Enjoy and happy protein shaking!

hello!

here i am, ready to share my weight loss journey with the world.  why?  because i think it’ll help keep me accountable.  a little public shaming never hurt, right?
i’m using the following methods to reach my goals (which we’ll get to in a minute):
*weight watchers online tools-food tracking helps shape my day!  i eat a lot of produce, and i try to drink a lot of water.  i own a bakery, so i try really hard to not snack at work.  it’s a challenge.
*personal training-after a few years of lazily using the elliptical machine, i’ve stepped up my game.  in september this year, i started seeing a trainer a few times a month.  whoa, what a difference!  i now lift weights, swing ropes, do circuit training, and most importantly, i
*RUN!-running is my new passion.  it makes my body feel strong and tight, even if i still have a considerable amount of junk in my trunk.  i do the best i can and i can feel myself getting better everyday.
*quieting the voices-i’m trying to lose weight and get in shape without making myself insane.  why stress about the little ups and downs of the scale, when it’s the long term i want to think about?
GOALS:
2 years ago, i weighed the most i have ever weighed, 225lb.  i am 5’6” and i felt like crap all the time.  i joined weight watchers and got myself to 202lb.  since then, i tend to be within +/- 5lbs of that.  it’s super frustrating.
my end goal is to get to 150lb., but i don’t care if it takes another 2 years.  this is my life and i want to learn new skills and pick up healthy habits along the way.
i’ll be posting weekly updates here, see you at the finish line!

“Get going. Get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race.”
Ron Hill to Jerome Drayton during the 1970 Boston Marathon